Letters from a Ukraine-Kyiv Missionary: Song Lyrics and Sellos

When I was a kid, my mom and dad used to take my sister and me on drives and we would listen to music as a family. Our favorite bands were Crowded House and Rush, and while we'd listen to them, my dad would often ask, "What's he saying right there? What did that lyric mean?" Well, I began to listen closely to the lyrics of my favorite song and try to figure them out; it's something I have continued to do into adulthood.

On my mission, I wasn't supposed to listen to any of the music that I had when I was home. We were told to listen to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir or to classical music from before 1900. As much as I have come to love the Choir and the classical music genre - Antoine Vivaldi's Four Seasons is one of my favorite pieces of classical music - on my mission I longed for something more, so I would remember the lyrics that I had stored away in my head.

This e-mail refers to the song "Driven" by Rush, and "Weather With You" by Crowded House. The latter has become a theme song for my family. Whatever life throws at you, "take the weather with you" is what we like to say. "Driven" was a song that we all enjoyed together, but whose meaning I did not really take the time to ponder and figure out. On the mission, though, I had three hours of scripture study/meditation time each day, so I took the time then. Here's what I found: at times it can seem that life is tossing you around. You're "driven to the margin of error/driven to the edge of control/driven to the margin of terror/driven to the edge of a deep dark hole." But ultimately, you can control the way you react to situations. It's "[your] turn to drive." That concept of personal agency and choice became a lot more clear to me on my mission, especially when I'd read scriptures like 2 Ne. 2:27 that says "men are free to choose liberty and eternal life...or captivity and death" or Helaman 14:30 that teaches that we are "permitted to act of [ourselves]" because God has given us knowledge and made us free. We can make the best of bad situations, or we can whine and complain because things aren't going the way we want them to.

I personally feel that we are responsible to take hold of our lives and steer them in the directions we want them to go. God will be there to lead us along the way. The principle is sound, now I just need to get better at applying it.

"From: Grant Stoddard <gstoddard86@yahoo.com>
Date: February 22, 2006 1:17:47 AM AKST
Subject: I'm Happy

Hey everyone, who's up for a LONG email?

Let's just say, I'm emailing at a time of actual joy in my life. I didn't know when it was gonna happen or sink in...and to be honest with you...a part of me questioned whether or not I would be able to enjoy this service. It's really hard, I'll be quite honest about it...anyone who ever questions the sacrifice and pain involved with this service (I myself didn't think it'd be that hard) should know that it is difficult...but I know that it is THE MOST REWARDING thing I have ever done in my life. Pokie scho...(that means as of yet and it's a phrase I learned this week).

Anyway, I'll tell you why.

It's warming up...well it was...the snow is all melting and now there are tons of lakes everywhere, but still...it's warm outside and I love it. Today, tomorrow, and friday I've heard'll still be a little cold, but then it sounds like pretty smooth sailing.

I have an awesome companion. Elder Kauwe is from Orem, Utah and has been out a year and a half. He's a lot like me...we have tons in common such as a deep love for music, we often will find ourselves having a random song come to mind and then the other'll pick right up and continue with it...or start another one and it'll be cool...the best one this week, it just sent chills down my spine, was Silent Lucidity by Queensryche. Elder Kauwe just started it from the beginning, and he has a voice that was very similar to the lead singer, and I just about peed my pants. It was so freakin' good!

I have a really good district as well. It's wonderful to be with Elder Isaacs again. We teach English together, well we will – he was sick this last time and just slept in the nursery, and I really know him well (we spent a good 3 months together)...oh and he's from Missouri...Branson to be exact. But also, we've got Elder Le Baron from, well I don't really know...Mexico originally, and he has a freakin' amazing story, one that blew me away. I guess his dad is a polygamist and has 3 wives and that was how he grew up...with tons of brothers and sisters and other relatives...and eventually missionaries came into their life and shared the wonderful truths of the gospel and he was baptized along with his mom and her kids...unfortunately that meant a seperation from his dad, but as I've learned out here...that doesn't mean that he's a bad guy or anything...there are just some truths that are misunderstood and maybe even not known...and if they are, so what...he's still a child of God. We had a good district meeting yesterday in which we all just kinda got to know one another and bear testimony...it was way good. Needless to say, my district is comprised of amazing Elders all of which are here for the right reasons, and desire to serve the Lord.

The Lutsk District - From left to right: Isaacs, Lebaron, Kauwe, Stoddard

We discussed quite a bit about family – as each of us have a different story of how divorce has reared her ugly head in our lives. The coolest thing to see, however, is the caliber of individuals we all are and how we've taken that and pressed forward with that steadfastness and how the Lord has worked his miracles, just as he saw fit. I know I couldn't have asked for a bigger blessing than the one I got with the divorce – what a wonderful loving family I have now.

Anyway, further

I had an eye-opener of how I can't do a darn thing here. That is to say, without the Lord's help. It was a pretty cool study session, and I just sat and pondered life, and the work and all these things...and of course I had song lyrics come to mind that set things straight – tied in with scriptures...the way I see life, you understand. I love the idea that it's my turn to drive...I get to make the choices that will influence me for eternities to come. I get to be the type of person I want to be...the loving, caring, kind, smart, fiercely attractive, humble as I'll get out, suave, debonair guy that I want to be...and I get to do it the rest of my life and then some...because I have a Father in Heaven who loves me more than words can express and he has given me this existence to do so. I came to the hard realization that I can only do what is right for me...I can't control, or force anyone to do anything...but I can be that shining beacon of light that others can hold on to, and I can take the road of life one step at a time...taking the weather with me, inviting those who are off to the sides...showing the way that I'm doing it, carrying them if necessary...and eventually, I'll get there, and then I'll know that all of those bumps, cracks, fissures, potholes along the way were worth it.

I'm coming to understand the Lord's view of time a little better...I was pretty stressed over the whole concept that I wanted people to get baptized while I was here, or that I wanted them to accept the gospel now, because if not, they never would...but in my little session of odkrovennya (revelation) I understood that I don't really to anything...it is all the Lord, and with his perfect knowledge and patience...things'll work out when and where they should...Trust in him with all your heart...that's what I'll do.

We have awesome members here...they're so cooperative, and helpful...a blessing if I'll get out. Unfortunately because of these funky changes that happened with the mini-transfer Elder Kauwe and I are pretty new in this area...so we've gotta kinda figure some things out for ourselves. We've gotta find a ton of people and all the harder parts of missionary work...it's all good though.

I met a guy named Brat (Brother) Zhook and he reminds me of Cordell Hull...he's great.

Also, if anyone gets a chance...go to temple square and talk to a Sister Sinuk...she's from Lutsk and I knew her in the MTC...so you could talk to her about where I live and I dunno...it'd be cool, something worth writing home about for her, then I'd go meet with her family and talk about it...all those “small world” things.We were able to go bowling last Wednesday...which I'm not sure about, it's a hard thing to do, cuz it gets you kinda homesick (especially cuz that was the last date I went on...sigh :))

Elder Isaacs bowling a strike...probably

I also, before I get on to the heart of my letter (this is all just the beginning...long eh?) I'd like to share a really cool couple of quotes that I found in the Ensign (I love that magazine) this month. The first was by President Faust - “If there were no night, we would not appreciate the day, nor could we see the stars and the vastness of the heavens.”

the second is just a random schmo but I loved it...and I want it to be how I act and stuff - “The Lord needs more ministers, not judges.” Wow, what wisdom there.

Anyway...now I have the makings of a miracle to share. K, so we had this guy stop by the other day, the older couple from L'Viv that stopped by last weekend found him and brought him in and we got to talking about him. His name is Veceel and he's from the Sello (one of the random villages outside of Lutsk) and he's actually the leader of a group of people out there...they're kinda gypsyish and just live according to what they think is right...they're very poor, and don't have a lot at all, but they love the Lord with all their hearts, and in the past 12 years have turned themselves over to serve him forever and always...anyway, Veceel is the leader of these people and he came and went to church, and seemed pretty interested, just wanted to learn about Christ, and stuff, and we asked if we could come out to his village and share our message. Well, he more than said yes, he told us that he'd gather a big group together and we could head out and teach them all. So we were kinda pumped, a little skeptic...it's a ways out, and we didn't want it to be a waste of time...but the senior couple was persistent. So we headed out. We got out there and gathered in this 2 room house in the living room, and Veceel brought like 20 people there. So we taught them the message of the Restoration – apostles, prophets, miracles, divine revelation in our times, all that great stuff – and they thought it was pretty interesting...they were just stoked to talk with us about Christ in general – the way they greeted us, instead of saying hello, was “Glory to God”...way cool. Anyway, we learned a bit more about them, about how they all had taken it upon themselves...they don't have an official church...and baptized one another, because that's what is taught, and just gathered and taught each other about Christ and the gospel. And shared with them how they can be together forever as families, how they could see those loved children who died again, and how the work could be done to save those loved ones of theirs that hadn't received the gospel as they had...how they could receive the salvation through Christ as well. It was way cool...very spiritual. Then they sang a bunch and we sang in English, and just talked about coming back, well they loved the idea...We're still not totally sure if they understood the huge importance of the message, but I know that they have been prepared by the Lord, and they are some of the closest to him out of any people I've ever met...even those strong strong Latter Day Saints. I remember, on the ride home just praying and praying for them, knowing that the Lord was gonna make everything work out that was necessary for them. We got back and it was good...not a whole lot of thought until a few days later when the Assistants to the President called us up and said they're stopping by to go out and check this out, because the older couple called and talked about it and how there's quite a bit of potential. And the more and more I've thought about it, there truly is...if somehow these people, even just one of them, could understand that we have the fullness of the gospel the priesthood restored, the power to do things in the name of the Lord such as baptism, there would be a dramatic effect because they are so tightknit and have such a love for the Lord. Anyway, in short, this is a big deal, Elder Kauwe said that he hasn't had anything like this on his mission...teaching a whole room of people who are just ready for our message. He told me that it's pretty cool stuff. I agree.

Elder Kauwe and I with the Gleasons and Veceel

The room of people we taught to.

So that's been some of the cool stuff that has gone on. Can you see why I'm happy...I mean, I still miss home...but I understand more and more my purpose here...I understand more and more who I am...i understand more and more that they Lord's time is so much better than our time...that He understands so much better than we do, and that we need to trust him and let him control our surroundings and such.

Life is such a precious gift. When looked at from an eternal perspective too...it's freakin awesome!

We're looking at a pretty busy week, P-day today is kinda tweaked to...a lot of things are being adjusted...no it's not that normal for Mini-Transfers...or Zone switches or stuff like that...but then again...nothing of missionary life is normal. You hardly ever have just a normal missionary day. It's actually kind of amusing. I thought that it would be so easy – the missionary schedule is set and that's that...but eh, whatever.

I hope that each one of you can come to the feeling of peace that I have. There's so much going on...so much work to be done...so much stuff that I know I should be stressed about, but I'm not. I'm at greater peace than I've ever been, and it's all because of the goodness of the Lord, and his gospel.