Optimism

Interestingly enough, the Rush song mentioned below actually refers to how the drummer, Neil Peart, felt after losing his daughter and then wife a year later.  It comes from an album called Vapor Trails and was the first studio album that Rush produced after Peart's loss.  In the book Ghost Rider, Peart chronicles the roller coaster ride that is losing loved ones.  He talks about how the pain never really goes away, it just deadens a little with time.  I have come to understand what he means as I deal with losing my son, Lucas, two years ago in March.  You really can't tell yourself not to care, nor can you tell yourself how to feel.  Sometimes the ache of Lucas' death almost suffocates me.  I sit around feeling mopey and can't quite put my finger on it, when suddenly it dawns on me that I am really missing my boy.  It's something I never quite expected.  Who does?

With that said, I still really like the optimism of this e-mail, and I still try to make it a central focus of my life.  I need my reminders, don't get me wrong, but knowing what I know about Jesus Christ and His plan of salvation, I find myself getting through each day being "more than fine, more than just o.k." to quote Switchfoot, another of my favorite bands.  It is important for us to look at our lives and realize that no matter how hard we find things, good things lie in store for us if we are living the way we should be.  And if we are not, well, then we need to change, and those good things will come to us.

Here is a video I watched to day that really drove this point home to me:

So enjoy the e-mail below, look around at all of the blessings that surround you, and hang in there.  

"From: Grant Stoddard <gstoddard86@yahoo.com>

Date: March 8, 2006 1:40:47 AM AKST

Subject: A bright and sunny day

Hi Everyone.

Can I just share my favorite word...it's kind of one of those substitute words to say when you like stub your toe or something...but it is this “bleen” and it means pancake in Russian. :)

I like it...cuz it's cool and nice and what not.

Well...another week come and gone...it blows me away, because it can sometimes be the longest week in the world as you're living it...and then all of a sudden it's Wednesday...you get to write home...and you realize that it hasn't been that bad.

I dunno...it seemed like a good week...but it doesn't seem that eventful to me right now.

Here's just some thoughts that came to me as I read emails this morning...

1 – Missionaries are NOT what everyone thinks. This experience has been absolutely nothing like I pictured in a million years...and I don't think I'll do something that I pictured for as long as I'll be out here...now let me explain that.

Life here is a different thing than one could ever imagine. There are higher standards and whatnot, but it's almost like we aren't really living. Somedays I just stop and realize (Elder Kauwe and I kinda talked about this a bit) that I'm stuck in a time warp...I'm an observer of everything...part of people's life, but not really. I have an influence, but knowledge that within a few months or so, I'm gone keeps anything from setting up relationships with sure foundations. It's weird/interesting/hard to explain all at once...I guess you'd have to walk in my shoes to really see.

2 – Life is wonderful! I dunno...I've always had optimism pounded into my head, so I guess it just always resides there even after those moments of feeling down. Here's why it is – There is a God. He has a plan. I know his plan. I'm living in accordance with his plan. And that's all that EVER matters.

3 – Life is hard. But hey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Anyway...I kinda don't know where I'm going w/ any of those...they're crazy, and nonsensical, but they were on my mind and it felt good to write...did I ever tell you that this is kind of like a second journal. So you get to bear with me and see sides you might not have ever...lucky you eh?

So the week. It went by fast. We did quite a bit of running around it seems...I was on exchanges for 2 days and so I can't really recall a whole lot...my mind is burdened with other stuff...and I don't quite know what it is or how to explain it. Anyway...i'll try to be newsy.

The sello people kinda bailed on us...no one showed up for church...and I guess they were all just kinda in it to try and get money from us. Oh well...we tried. Who knows what the Lord has in store for them...we'll see in time.

Here's where I start to kind of explain the whole “missionaries aren't what people think”. I remember in the MTC reading “Preach my Gospel” and picturing what happens...what life is like...how things go...everything. And as much as that book has things ideal and laid out for what to get done, I think that often we forget that we are all just people...we still slack at stuff...we let some stuff get the better of us...we slip here or there... but as I've been discussing w/ my companion...a mission really boils down to how you feel when you talk to your Heavenly Father each night. I feel pretty good. I'm happy...I'm doing all that I can to do my best and it's wonderful. Sorry if none of this makes sense to any of you...it does to me, and maybe when I return I can get you to understand...for now, know that I'm alright and happy and stuff and just rambling my thoughts even more.

Sunday...we had church. It was alright, nice and good as usual...then Elder Kauwe and I returned to our apartment...had lunch (no worries we fasted 24 hours :P) and then...we stayed in the apartment for the rest of the night just talking...getting to know one another better...building a stronger relationship and becoming closer friends. We both commented every now and again that we ought to head out and do something, but each time we'd come to that...it didn't feel right. Anyway...I look at stuff that's going on around me now...Elder Isaacs and his companion are kind of struggling getting a long with each other...and Elder Kauwe and I are doing great. I feel that the Lord wanted us to do that...that our relationship had a need to be strengthened at the time...as we now know that we're gonna be together another transfer.

Monday we went to Sister Kondienko. She's pretty cool, and we talked to her and sure enough she referred us to her daughter who'd been investigating kind of off and on...Elder Kauwe knew her a little from the first time he'd been here in Lutsk...and we visited and she mentioned that she felt ready, for the first time in her life, to start taking steps toward living her life according to gospel principles. It was really cool to hear, that times just come when people really understand how important it is to have all of this in their lives.

Tuesday we had a really good district meeting...I liked it a lot. I felt really good and close to the other Elders...we have a great district and these are some people that are the greatest I've ever met in my life...I love em all and get the priveledge of learning so much from em all the time. I went on exchanges w/ Elder Isaacs...taught English (which my students who are bad didn't show this week...so it was pretty good) then had a really cool lesson last night w/ a guy...I sat after and was like... “wow...by myself...I just talked to that guy in Ukrainian – we understood one another – for an hour and a half.” It was nuts...the language comes...just gotta be patient.

Now today...it's kind of a crazy day I think...because Elder Kauwe is the district leader, he's gotta work w/ the other elders to help them resolve any problems in their companionship...so we'll see what goes on there. I think i'm gonna buy an electric shaver...ooooh fun...and that's about it :)

Funny how I don't really have cares at this time...but I have so much on my mind. It's crazy.

I had an epiphony as to my career too...it came to me after I talked to this lady on a bus about how she works with deaf people. I realized that I wanna do something that is helpful to people...something that brings people the hope and light that is in my life. I thought about working with kids or something...but then I thought about that sort of thing that I really like to think about...psychology and stuff...thoughts and junk. So I think (this is now...remember how often I change my mind) that I wanna do something like a counselor or something...but I'd love to be able to do it in regards to the church and gospel...something maybe under the employment of church services...I dunno. It was a random thought...but it felt really good (along w/ all of those 1,000,000 other thoughts I've ever had about a career). I still have plenty of time though...I'm always open to what you guys think about it too...

Um...I think I did send my Phantom CD's to Dad. Not positive...maybe Heidi Jane has em...dunno...but I thought that it'd be cool maybe to get a Joseph soundtrack (learn my Old Testament a little better)...I like to listen to music as I exercise in the morning...and I don't really have a whole lot to choose from...

Well...I dunno if this one's gonna be to exciting for you this week...sorry to let you down.

Keep your fingers crossed for warmer weather...it has been sunny for the past 2 days...so here's hoping.

I was looking up the lyrics to this Rush song today...and I found it...I love the music to it...it's just happy and upbeat and I love it (i've had the tune in my head) so I wanted to sing along and I saw this.

Here's a little trap

That sometimes trips up everyone

When we tire of our own company

Sometimes we're the last to see beyond the day's frustrations

That's how it is – How it's going to be...

That's how it is.

Dunno what it means to you...not positive comepletely what it means to me. I just like the words. I feel that life goes. Life happens. Sometimes we are the last to see beyond that which we're frustrated with. I know I've had more and more peace come to me as I look past my faults and the faults of those around me...let the love of God come into my life and just run w/ it. Life, like I said, is so wonderful. It's a beautiful thing...there are miracles of God all around us...children, the sun, snow melting, love in general. Soak it all in...

Foot upon the stair

Shoulder to the wheel.

You can't tell yourself not to care

you can't tell yourself how to feel...

That's how it is...

That's how it is.

Words of wisdom from Rush...figure it out for yourself...I'm gonna go out and live and be happy.

Smile all! The Lord loves us brothers and sisters :)

I love you.

--Grant"

Oh, and enjoy this Rush song:

What an adventure!

Quick.  I just put my kids to bed and my wife is out serving in her calling.  I can get the post up today after all.

It's been interesting reading about my visits to the celo to the large group of investigators.  I'm curious to know if anything ever became of it.  After this e-mail, we kind of just dropped them and never saw them again.  Someday I'd love to read an Ensign article about this huge group of people getting baptized in a tiny Ukrainian village.  I'd be able to say, "I was there when all of that got started!"  Even if I don't ever read that, I take comfort knowing that I bore testimony of the restored gospel to a group of people in a village that was seriously what I imagine the early 20th century to look like - sans the nicely paved freeway not far from the village.  What an adventure I had.

"From: Grant Stoddard <gstoddard86@yahoo.com>

Date: March 1, 2006 1:21:58 AM AKST

Subject: March has come.

How goes it?

So, it stopped being warm again, and winter came back. It had been so nice too, but now...snow snow snow on the 1^st day of March.

PACKAGES: So I got mail. Hooray! And not just any mail. I got mom's Christmas Packagage!!! Hooray. I thought it was funny, cuz right as I read the email with the list of contents in it, I get the fetchin' thing. LOL. No, it was great...I've loved every minute of it...setting up the Christmas tree. The Nativity (In February/March)...eating, eating, eating candy. Boy...it was so good. I also got Heidi Jane's Christmas Package – Let's just say...that was one of the coolest ways to do a package for a missionary...I loved the pictures, I loved the candy and seashells. Way way fun. No worries mom, yours was better :P...The books are way good...I recommend reading Gospel Principles to anyone...it clears so many things up...anything that you've got a question about it seems. 

Packages: nothing makes a missionary happier.  Except maybe watching people get baptized.

Also...the Joseph Smith stuff. MAN...THAT PROPHET HAD IT GOIN' ON! My testimony has just grown by leaps and bounds the past few days in the knowledge that he really did all that is written about him. Wow...he saw God and Jesus, and I know he did.

Also, I know that I had at least one package go to Rivne, that the Branch was supposed to bring back with them...but the trustworthy elders over there (my former companion) forgot to give my mail to them...so I'll just have to wait until Zone Conference in a few weeks.

We had the Assistants to President Davis come out for that little thing in the Celo. It was quite the adventure...just crazy busy traveling, making arrangements to get out there...gathering big old groups, and then teaching the crap outta 'em. It was way cool...just as HJ mentioned, it truly felt like Alma and Amulek teaching the poor Zoramites the gospel. Which, coincidentally, I'm reading about right now. However, we're faced at a standstill (Elder Kauwe and I) because we're not sure what to do about the situation...right now we know we're supposed to focus on building up the branch in Lutsk. And it'd be really hard to get all these people to church (this past week we had to drive out on a bus, gather up 10 of em, pay for most of them on the Marshootka, then most of em didn't stay for it) every single week. Luckily though, we had the Assistants, and they're talking it over with President so we can know what to do.

The group

The celo (village) where they lived.

Me standing under a sign that says "Kovel."  I came from a town called Coalville and found the similarity comforting.

The assistants, Elder Kauwe, and I.

That took up a whole lot of our time this week, and it was weird how draining of an experience it was...standing up and just preaching, and travel, and all that...kinda wore me out. I felt it come Monday...we'd just been busting our buts w/ em for 3 days and I just crashed...I couldn't speak the language, I couldn't think...I just stared off into space for most of one lesson (it could have also been induced because I ate a bunch of candy that morning, then went through sugar withdrawls...who knows) but, yeah... that's how that experience turned out. I still think that they are a good group...and I hope and pray for them all the time...I do know that right now...and from the dedication of this country, however, missionaries have been advised to find those chosen people who are pretty well off, and who can build up the kingdom of God here, so that we have a foundation for when we go and hit those Celos and stuff heavily. So, yeah.

English classes are kinda tough...we've got a bunch of little screw offs in Elder Isaacs and my class, and we're not entirely sure what to do...I think we're gonna kick a few out, but who knows.

Teaching a pirate-themed English class

Apart from the Celo and stuff...we didn't have a whole lot, but there was some real good stuff. We have 2 really strong investigators right now – one named Ulia and the other Tetyana. We had a lesson with Ulia (she's a 19-20 year old mom w/ a daughter that's 1 and is freakin' cute) yesterday and invited her to be baptized...she's pretty much accepted everything and knows it to be true...so we just casually talked to her about it...and it went really well...she said right now she's faced with a divorce (her husband really got into drugs and she doesn't want that for her daughter) and she definitely feels that after she wants to be baptized. She comes to church all of the time, and I feel really good for her...

The other lady – Tetyana – is amazing! She has been searching for the true church for quite some time...and it felt so cool when I leaned forward and said - “Tetyana...you've no need to search anymore!” Wow...there are some power in those words. :) She has been gone this past weekend visiting her son (in jail in L'Viv) and bringing him a Book of Mormon. Cool eh?

I can't wait to teach her the Plan of Salvation and get her as hooked on the gospel as I have become.

The end of the transfer is in a week...we get to find out on Sunday if anyone's headin' out. We're getting a senior couple in May I guess...that'll be cool, I've heard that they really help the areas out really well, cuz they can do family home evenings, and seminary and other stuff like that. It'll be really good.

Quick requests: whenever possible I've gotta ask for my Phantom of the Opera cds...we have the movie soundtrack and it's just not the same :)...I can't remember if I requested it last time...but if I did, wah.

Oh yeah...here's how hot and attractive I am...and I just have that natural charm and charisma and all that – I sat down on a Marshootka the other day, and was talking with the other elders, and the girl next to me turned and handed me this marshmallow thing. And I was like, oh thanks, then she kept giving me them for the other elders and even more for myself. No worries...I said...”Look, I've got this short cute blonde girl back home who probably wouldn't like you hitting on me” :)...haha...j/k I invited her to English and stuff...my missionary duty...but that's what I thought honestly.

Well, with Meghan driving, Vacations, tak dali, going on this week...there's enough excitement to hear about to make a Ukrainian speaking missionary wanna pee his pants. It's so good to hear the news...it reminds me of normalcy...which is what P-Day is all about. Keep those “boring little details” coming...I love em, and would seriously die without em.

Things are good. I love ya all! Have a good one...no worries, I'm still taking pictures, it's just gonna take a bit before I get a cd all the way full, enough to send home...but I might have a way to get some online next week...I'm gonna try anyway. It's almost time to be warm...just a little while...then things are really gonna take off...for everyone!

With only 19 months to go...I figure...life is good...You must keep running the distance...and that's what I'll do.

Mom, you're right...it's the goodbyes on the letters that are always the hardest part...so I'll end it here.

Bye

--Grant

P.S. Also any other of my Missionary pals' email addresses (Louder, Cecil, etc.) they'd be great."

Song Lyrics and Sellos

When I was a kid, my mom and dad used to take my sister and me on drives and we would listen to music as a family.  Our favorite bands were Crowded House and Rush, and while we'd listen to them, my dad would often ask, "What's he saying right there?  What did that lyric mean?"  Well, I began to listen closely to the lyrics of my favorite song and try to figure them out; it's something I have continued to do into adulthood.

On my mission, I wasn't supposed to listen to any of the music that I had when I was home.  We were told to listen to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir or to classical music from before 1900.  As much as I have come to love the Choir and the classical music genre - Antoine Vivaldi's Four Seasons is one of my favorite pieces of classical music - on my mission I longed for something more, so I would remember the lyrics that I had stored away in my head.

This e-mail refers to the song "Driven" by Rush, and "Weather With You" by Crowded House.  The latter has become a theme song for my family.  Whatever life throws at you, "take the weather with you" is what we like to say.  "Driven" was a song that we all enjoyed together, but whose meaning I did not really take the time to ponder and figure out.  On the mission, though, I had three hours of scripture study/meditation time each day, so I took the time then.  Here's what I found: at times it can seem that life is tossing you around.  You're "driven to the margin of error/driven to the edge of control/driven to the margin of terror/driven to the edge of a deep dark hole."  But ultimately, you can control the way you react to situations.  It's "[your] turn to drive."  That concept of personal agency and choice became a lot more clear to me on my mission, especially when I'd read scriptures like 2 Ne. 2:27 that says "men are free to choose liberty and eternal life...or captivity and death" or Helaman 14:30 that teaches that we are "permitted to act of [ourselves]" because God has given us knowledge and made us free.  We can make the best of bad situations, or we can whine and complain because things aren't going the way we want them to.

 I personally feel that we are responsible to take hold of our lives and steer them in the directions we want them to go.  God will be there to lead us along the way.  The principle is sound, now I just need to get better at applying it.

"From: Grant Stoddard <gstoddard86@yahoo.com>
Date: February 22, 2006 1:17:47 AM AKST
Subject: I'm Happy

Hey everyone, who's up for a LONG email? 

Let's just say, I'm emailing at a time of actual joy in my life. I didn't know when it was gonna happen or sink in...and to be honest with you...a part of me questioned whether or not I would be able to enjoy this service. It's really hard, I'll be quite honest about it...anyone who ever questions the sacrifice and pain involved with this service (I myself didn't think it'd be that hard) should know that it is difficult...but I know that it is THE MOST REWARDING thing I have ever done in my life. Pokie scho...(that means as of yet and it's a phrase I learned this week). 

Anyway, I'll tell you why. 

It's warming up...well it was...the snow is all melting and now there are tons of lakes everywhere, but still...it's warm outside and I love it. Today, tomorrow, and friday I've heard'll still be a little cold, but then it sounds like pretty smooth sailing. 

I have an awesome companion. Elder Kauwe is from Orem, Utah and has been out a year and a half. He's a lot like me...we have tons in common such as a deep love for music, we often will find ourselves having a random song come to mind and then the other'll pick right up and continue with it...or start another one and it'll be cool...the best one this week, it just sent chills down my spine, was Silent Lucidity by Queensryche. Elder Kauwe just started it from the beginning, and he has a voice that was very similar to the lead singer, and I just about peed my pants. It was so freakin' good! 

I have a really good district as well. It's wonderful to be with Elder Isaacs again. We teach English together, well we will – he was sick this last time and just slept in the nursery, and I really know him well (we spent a good 3 months together)...oh and he's from Missouri...Branson to be exact. But also, we've got Elder Le Baron from, well I don't really know...Mexico originally, and he has a freakin' amazing story, one that blew me away. I guess his dad is a polygamist and has 3 wives and that was how he grew up...with tons of brothers and sisters and other relatives...and eventually missionaries came into their life and shared the wonderful truths of the gospel and he was baptized along with his mom and her kids...unfortunately that meant a seperation from his dad, but as I've learned out here...that doesn't mean that he's a bad guy or anything...there are just some truths that are misunderstood and maybe even not known...and if they are, so what...he's still a child of God. We had a good district meeting yesterday in which we all just kinda got to know one another and bear testimony...it was way good. Needless to say, my district is comprised of amazing Elders all of which are here for the right reasons, and desire to serve the Lord. 

The Lutsk District - From left to right: Isaacs, Lebaron, Kauwe, Stoddard

We discussed quite a bit about family – as each of us have a different story of how divorce has reared her ugly head in our lives. The coolest thing to see, however, is the caliber of individuals we all are and how we've taken that and pressed forward with that steadfastness and how the Lord has worked his miracles, just as he saw fit. I know I couldn't have asked for a bigger blessing than the one I got with the divorce – what a wonderful loving family I have now. 

Anyway, further 

I had an eye-opener of how I can't do a darn thing here. That is to say, without the Lord's help. It was a pretty cool study session, and I just sat and pondered life, and the work and all these things...and of course I had song lyrics come to mind that set things straight – tied in with scriptures...the way I see life, you understand. I love the idea that it's my turn to drive...I get to make the choices that will influence me for eternities to come. I get to be the type of person I want to be...the loving, caring, kind, smart, fiercely attractive, humble as I'll get out, suave, debonair guy that I want to be...and I get to do it the rest of my life and then some...because I have a Father in Heaven who loves me more than words can express and he has given me this existence to do so. I came to the hard realization that I can only do what is right for me...I can't control, or force anyone to do anything...but I can be that shining beacon of light that others can hold on to, and I can take the road of life one step at a time...taking the weather with me, inviting those who are off to the sides...showing the way that I'm doing it, carrying them if necessary...and eventually, I'll get there, and then I'll know that all of those bumps, cracks, fissures, potholes along the way were worth it. 

I'm coming to understand the Lord's view of time a little better...I was pretty stressed over the whole concept that I wanted people to get baptized while I was here, or that I wanted them to accept the gospel now, because if not, they never would...but in my little session of odkrovennya (revelation) I understood that I don't really to anything...it is all the Lord, and with his perfect knowledge and patience...things'll work out when and where they should...Trust in him with all your heart...that's what I'll do. 

We have awesome members here...they're so cooperative, and helpful...a blessing if I'll get out. Unfortunately because of these funky changes that happened with the mini-transfer Elder Kauwe and I are pretty new in this area...so we've gotta kinda figure some things out for ourselves. We've gotta find a ton of people and all the harder parts of missionary work...it's all good though. 

I met a guy named Brat (Brother) Zhook and he reminds me of Cordell Hull...he's great. 

Also, if anyone gets a chance...go to temple square and talk to a Sister Sinuk...she's from Lutsk and I knew her in the MTC...so you could talk to her about where I live and I dunno...it'd be cool, something worth writing home about for her, then I'd go meet with her family and talk about it...all those “small world” things.We were able to go bowling last Wednesday...which I'm not sure about, it's a hard thing to do, cuz it gets you kinda homesick (especially cuz that was the last date I went on...sigh :)) 

Elder Isaacs bowling a strike...probably

I also, before I get on to the heart of my letter (this is all just the beginning...long eh?) I'd like to share a really cool couple of quotes that I found in the Ensign (I love that magazine) this month. The first was by President Faust - “If there were no night, we would not appreciate the day, nor could we see the stars and the vastness of the heavens.” 

the second is just a random schmo but I loved it...and I want it to be how I act and stuff - “The Lord needs more ministers, not judges.” Wow, what wisdom there. 

Anyway...now I have the makings of a miracle to share. K, so we had this guy stop by the other day, the older couple from L'Viv that stopped by last weekend found him and brought him in and we got to talking about him. His name is Veceel and he's from the Sello (one of the random villages outside of Lutsk) and he's actually the leader of a group of people out there...they're kinda gypsyish and just live according to what they think is right...they're very poor, and don't have a lot at all, but they love the Lord with all their hearts, and in the past 12 years have turned themselves over to serve him forever and always...anyway, Veceel is the leader of these people and he came and went to church, and seemed pretty interested, just wanted to learn about Christ, and stuff, and we asked if we could come out to his village and share our message. Well, he more than said yes, he told us that he'd gather a big group together and we could head out and teach them all. So we were kinda pumped, a little skeptic...it's a ways out, and we didn't want it to be a waste of time...but the senior couple was persistent. So we headed out. We got out there and gathered in this 2 room house in the living room, and Veceel brought like 20 people there. So we taught them the message of the Restoration – apostles, prophets, miracles, divine revelation in our times, all that great stuff – and they thought it was pretty interesting...they were just stoked to talk with us about Christ in general – the way they greeted us, instead of saying hello, was “Glory to God”...way cool. Anyway, we learned a bit more about them, about how they all had taken it upon themselves...they don't have an official church...and baptized one another, because that's what is taught, and just gathered and taught each other about Christ and the gospel. And shared with them how they can be together forever as families, how they could see those loved children who died again, and how the work could be done to save those loved ones of theirs that hadn't received the gospel as they had...how they could receive the salvation through Christ as well. It was way cool...very spiritual. Then they sang a bunch and we sang in English, and just talked about coming back, well they loved the idea...We're still not totally sure if they understood the huge importance of the message, but I know that they have been prepared by the Lord, and they are some of the closest to him out of any people I've ever met...even those strong strong Latter Day Saints. I remember, on the ride home just praying and praying for them, knowing that the Lord was gonna make everything work out that was necessary for them. We got back and it was good...not a whole lot of thought until a few days later when the Assistants to the President called us up and said they're stopping by to go out and check this out, because the older couple called and talked about it and how there's quite a bit of potential. And the more and more I've thought about it, there truly is...if somehow these people, even just one of them, could understand that we have the fullness of the gospel the priesthood restored, the power to do things in the name of the Lord such as baptism, there would be a dramatic effect because they are so tightknit and have such a love for the Lord. Anyway, in short, this is a big deal, Elder Kauwe said that he hasn't had anything like this on his mission...teaching a whole room of people who are just ready for our message. He told me that it's pretty cool stuff. I agree. 

Elder Kauwe and I with the Gleasons and Veceel

The room of people we taught to.

So that's been some of the cool stuff that has gone on. Can you see why I'm happy...I mean, I still miss home...but I understand more and more my purpose here...I understand more and more who I am...i understand more and more that they Lord's time is so much better than our time...that He understands so much better than we do, and that we need to trust him and let him control our surroundings and such. 

Life is such a precious gift. When looked at from an eternal perspective too...it's freakin awesome! 

We're looking at a pretty busy week, P-day today is kinda tweaked to...a lot of things are being adjusted...no it's not that normal for Mini-Transfers...or Zone switches or stuff like that...but then again...nothing of missionary life is normal. You hardly ever have just a normal missionary day. It's actually kind of amusing. I thought that it would be so easy – the missionary schedule is set and that's that...but eh, whatever. 

I hope that each one of you can come to the feeling of peace that I have. There's so much going on...so much work to be done...so much stuff that I know I should be stressed about, but I'm not. I'm at greater peace than I've ever been, and it's all because of the goodness of the Lord, and his gospel. 

No worries, though...my halo is still slightly crooked... :) 

I love you guys. 

Thanks for the emails, once again...I get mail this weekend hooray! 

You are always in my prayers, and thoughts...I can't get you out of them. 

Smile frequently...it's warming up! Just keep on down that road...take the weather with you and I'll talk to you next week! 

Love,--Grant"

Also, here are some pictures of the apartment I lived in while I was in Lutsk.  I meant to put them on last week's post, but forgot to.

Main room

My stuff.  I'm quite the decorator, I know.

Our kitchen.  Lots of interesting creations came out of the Lutsk kitchen.

I learned that cooking on high heat all the time just leads to burned food on this stove.

My bed.

My wardrobe

Transfer to Lutsk

Sorry about the silence last week.  A bunch of family came in for the holidays and I just never found the time to post.  This week I found time, I'm just getting through illness and helping my kids and wife do the same.  So you'll get less commentary than usual.  Sorry.  Here's a pretty juicy e-mail, though.

"From: Grant Stoddard <gstoddard86@yahoo.com>
Date: February 15, 2006 1:36:09 AM AKST
Subject: Priveet z Lutsku

Hi everyone. 

Big News.  I'm in Lutsk now.  We had a funky deal happen called a mini transfer.  What it is, is right now is halfway through a transfer, and I got transfered...cool huh? 

Anyway, another new companion, new district, new area.  The great place of Lutsk.  I got here this morning at 9 am and I traveled all by myself...kinda spooky w/ 3 big suitcases, a backpack on a tiny little marshootka...not knowing exactly where you're meeting up w/ the other elders...it reminded me a little of the other side of heaven.  But...good news, they were there, we got to my new place and just kinda settled down and everything.  My new companion is Elder Kauwe, he's from Orem and he knows a ton about music.  It's way cool...so we might have some little discussions about music and what not now and again.Thanks again for emails...they're all wonderful, make me smile, and warm me up in this foreign ice-box.  Nah, it's not that bad...starting to warm up and get better.I had a whole bunch of new pictures, but this computer club is dumb and won't let me send them I think.  Sorry. 

Oh, quick request before I get to the heart of all of this...BRET'S EMAIL!  I want it badly...I had a dream he died last night and I need to make sure that he's alright...it was kinda funny too cuz I was at the funeral w/ everyone and Luke Kitchen's mom (who basically was Luke in a dress w/ longer hair and black lipstick) was there and that's the most I remember about it.  Weird eh... 

anyway, yeah...so get me Bret's e-mail...I wanna hear how the kid's doing...especially cuz he's been out for 6 months now! 

No packagages still.  I did get some mail...and it's weird, cuz I know it was all sent of after packages and whatnot (it was of 4-wheeling down at some dunes) and a card from Heidi from deseret book.  But that was it...I know there has to be more...but I've heard a rumor that the assistants to the president lost it...darn them eh?  We'll see...and have faith. 

So as for my week. 

Last week went by really fast...it was kinda hard to focus because I knew that I was just leaving the area behind...probably never to return.  But we actually had some really good things happen. 

Last p-day elder gashler and I went to the airport...he's a nut about that stuff..so we walked out there and it was crazy cuz here I was this 19 year old kid from Coalville, Utah...in the middle of Rivne, Ukraine, looking at airplanes from over a fence on the 8th of February...how many other people could ever claim to have an experience as random and interesting as that...(except maybe the Prophet Joseph Smith...but hey it all stems from that right?) 

not much the rest of that day... 

on Thursday had my last meeting w/ Oksana...I was actually on exchanges with Elder Kauwe from Lutsk...kind of a try before you buy companionship thing.  so we did that, a lot of tracting had a lesson with a guy named Vova (pretty sure about the gospel, just doesn't have a desire to commit to it at all or anything), then English...which was way cool, cuz it was the first time I taught by myself.  I taught the middle class, which was entirely in english and really cool.  I just told about myself and where I was from, some cool stuff I did back home and even about 4 wheeling...so wouldn't you know it yesterday I had pictures to show em of the sport they knew nothing about.  I also asked for any of them to bring me a Borsch recipie and they did...it was way cool. 

Friday was a whole lot of nothing it seemed...but we started teaching this guy named Clavik.  He's getting baptised on the 11th of March and all of his thoughts and views on religion...such as being baptized at a young age (which he was) all correspond with the message of the restoration.  He's so cool, and every lesson we've had just fills me with a knowledge that he is one of those people that is ready and is going to love it when he dives in. 

Random thought - that kid in my last pictures...Costea (the short name for Constantine) is like 14...yes I know he looks like he's 6 or something but he's almost a teacher in the aaronic priesthood.  He's also freakin' crazy and annoying. 

anyway...Also on friday I went over to the other investigator we have named Sasha's house.  There we taught him the plan of salvation...and he gave me some cool stuff like a book in Ukrainian and this light up Icon of the Nativity...it's pretty cool.  He also has a ton of music on mp3s (quick note on the mp3s here - they are EVERY album of the band on 1 cd) including...dad pay attention...Yes.  So he had every single Yes album on 1 cd...I took a picture cuz I wanted to send it, but again...the computer is dumb.  I also heard a U2 album there that was so freakin good.  but then we had to go...so yeah. 

I was so excited about all of this cheap music. 

then on saturday we had a valentine's day activity from the branch.  It was way fun, we did a board trick and just had lots of fun with the different people...they'd go around and give out valentines to different people based on the numbers we were given at the start of the evening...I got a few, but they were mostly from missionaries.  Which I guess is good (wouldn't you say HJ? :))  

Sunday - good church, lunch of homemade tomato soup...mmmmmmmand choir...also a lesson with Clavik...he's the freakin' man.  I'm stoked for him.Monday we had district meeting for the last time...really it was them getting the area ready for the new missionaries coming to replace me Elder Bowen and Adair.  all the veterans.and then a really difficult lesson with this guy named Sasha and his friend who wouldn't listen to us, but rather tried to disprove us and prove us wrong...lessons like that are really hard, because they are just not willing to faithfully find out for themselves simple truths and principles (which he kept repeating i.e. salvation through Christ and his gospel, but was too thick to hear what we were saying was the same) 

then Yesterday was a really good day.  had a lesson with Dima...last one, went to the church and had a good English lesson where I talked more to this couple about valentine's day traditions...found out that it's a really new holiday here, and that it's kinda similar with other countries...and also shared with them information about baptism.  they're really cool too, and I can see good things in their future...bummer I had to leave...they gave me a Borsch recepie too! 

Which brings us to today.  Got up and got on a bus at 6 this morning.  Came here, we've got Elder Kauwe, Elder Isaacs, and Elder Le Baron.  it's nice to have a young'un here w/ me from my group.  I really think I'm gonna like it here.  we've got a good group, plus it's always getting closer to winter ending.  although today is more cloudy than it has in the past little while 

I quit the diet...I'm sure you all had bets going against me...you all knew I couldn't do it...I decided it was way boring, and not all that healthy cuz their salads and soups aren't healthy at all.  so I decided to just eat healthy all the time...and wouldn't you know it, I'll be ok...diets don't work anyway. 

I saw a sign on the way to here today that said Kovel (it's kind of similar to coalville...it was how I pronounced it when I saw it) and it's a place so it made me smile.  I also saw horses pulling a sleigh as a mode of transport...cool cool. 

Anyway.  Things are really good here.  I have faith that this transfer I'll get my packages and mail.  I hope anyway. 

Everyone smile.  Relax, and realize that life is good.  Enjoy the olympics!  and love one another...having a great week this next one. 

Love ya all!--Grant"

Oh, and then there's this e-mail.  Thought it was worth including, too.

"From: Grant Stoddard <gstoddard86@yahoo.com>
Date: February 15, 2006 2:01:40 AM AKST
Subject: Freakin' Funny Language Mistake

K, so a story I forgot to tell. 

I gave a talk in church on Sunday...and I was starting out saying how every time I give a talk, I get a little nervous, and write down a lot of stuff, and fret for nothing, because I know the Lord's gonna help me out anyway. Well, that was the gist of what I was trying to say.  But, there's a word - pisaty...it has a friend - pisaty...they both are very very similar and the first one means to write...the second means to piss.   the difference is an accent mark change, and conjucation change.  to say "I write" you say...ya pishoo...and to say "I piss" you say...ya pisayoo... So I get up and say...it's dumb cuz every time I go to give a talk I piss...I caught my mistake as everyone started to laugh and I just had to back up and almost start over...it was way funny 

it's all because the way you conjugate I write is irregular and weird...it doesn't follow normal rules, so you just have to remember that...and I was thinking normal conjugation rules and forgot at the wrong time. 

so remember...every time I go to give a talk I piss.maybe that'll bring a smile to everyone's face.think of that in the most serious moments of the week and laugh!love,--Grant"